I enjoy sports. Any kind really. Football, basketball, hockey, soccer, tennis, rallying, cycling, even baseball on occasion. Some find this odd, as if I am either too geeky or too intellectual to be a sports fan. My love, however, has a serious obstacle–we don’t own a functional television. Sunday afternoons in the fall or winter are often spent in our dining room, listening to the Steelers game on the radio and “watching” several other games via the scoreboards on Sports Illustrated.com. This, of course, has its limitations, and sometimes I steal a game at my dad’s, or the in-laws. This, by the way, is a mark that I am not obessed with sports–I will not (ok, I generally will not) make special plans to watch a game on television. If I miss a Steelers, that’s OK.

I can also watch most sporting events with a bit of detachment. I don’t need to get caught up in the result, I can just enjoy the game (this is why, for example, last year’s NBA finals were so great–Detroit v. San Antonio–two team-first squads that would be equally deserving champs). There are, however, two teams I absolutely cannot watch with that sort of detachment: the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the University of Pittsburgh Panthers basketball team.

We have, as a city, been spoiled by the Panthers in recent years. While they haven’t achieved a national title, they do a have Big East title, and a long run of NCAA tournament births. While much wasn’t expected this year, with the graduation of several key seniors, the Panthers have charged to an undefeated record, included this weekend’s big win over Louisville (remember, of course, that the Panthers stock up on Cupcake U’s in the early season), and ninth place in the latest national rankings. I’ve not seen a game yet, but I’m sure I’ll catch a few as the Big East action heats up (sorry, sports cliché), and those games will no doubt cause a gray hair or two, as the Panthers aren’t the dominating sort. Games go down to the wire, which means I’m a nervous wreck.

My reaction to the Panthers pales in comparison to how I deal with Steelers’ game. It’s probably best I don’t see many on television, lest I die 15 years too early. Of course, I did see yesterday victory over the Colts, and the fourth quarter alone gave me a dozen gray hairs, an ulcer, a life five years shorter.

It started well, the Steelers jumping to a 14-0 lead. This was wholly unexpected–in fact, I had resigned myself to the thought of the Steelers losing by 10 or so. This also meant I actually had to care about the game. I was invested at this point, sweaty palms and racing heart included. I broke for lunch with the in-laws, and when I returned, I watch Jerome Bettis punch into the end zone to make it 21-3. Oh dear. Coach Cowher is roughly 100-1 when the Steelers hold an 11 point lead. Now look at them. Was a win the bag?

Never say never. First, there was the Troy Polumalu interception that was overturned. An absolute killer. The Colts scored two quick touchdowns, and suddenly it was 21-18. My life was flashing before my eyes. Then after another Steelers’ punt, the Colts had the ball back. Oh dear. Finally the defense stepped up, and smothered Peyton Manning close to his own end zone. Finally! Not realizing the Colts would lose possession on downs, I looked at father-in-law and said “hopefully Randle-El won’t muff the punt.” I was suddenly relieved to see the offense trot on the field. One minute and twenty seconds on the clock? Take a knee. Stretch things out. No need to go for the jugular.

First down, Jerome Bettis gets the hand off and barrels toward the end-zone. Suddenly, a helmet hits the ball and *pop* there it goes. Oh my. And the Colts pick it up and run (my heart, by the way, is racing again just typing this). Oh no. They are going to return this for a touchdown. Game over. Then from out of no where, Ben Roethlisberger manages to trip up the Colt carry the ball. This is both good and bad. Good: the Steelers still can win. Bad: the Steelers still have to win. At least if the Colts would have returned the fumble for a touchdown, the game would have ended and my life could return to normal (I am not the typical Steelers fanatic, who, upon a loss, mopes for several weeks. It is just a game.). Now the defense has to stop Peyton Manning again. They do, but not until the Colts have a chance for a field goal to tie.

The pressure, at least in my world, is unbearable at this point. The snap, the kick, and it’s obvious it is wide right. It’s over. The Steelers win (the first time a sixth seed in the playoffs has beaten a first seed). I breath a sigh of relief, collect myself, and rejoin the land of living.

The situation will likely repeat itself next weekend, with the Steelers playing in Denver for a trip to the Super Bowl. I can’t wait.

Posted on 16 January 2006