I was in the middle of long-ish post on place and localism, when I came across this essay by Emily Yoffe, subtitled Advice columnist wonders what America’s got against parenthood. Yoffe, in her “Dear Prudence” column at Slate, recently advised a young woman to rethink the policy of remaining childless. This touched the collective nerve of Slate’s readers, and Yoffe was skewered for suggesting such a thing. Responding to her critics, Yoffe begins with what is generally considered the traditionalist, conservative argument for having kids–demographics:

What is going on when there is so much scorn for parenthood ? the way a society perpetuates itself? Fertility rates are much in the news these days. The United States is rare among developed nations in that it is still producing children at a replacement rate. But many countries collectively agree with the people who wrote to me ? that children are a tantrum wrapped in a diaper and not worth the trouble. So, Germany, Italy, Japan and Spain, among others, are going down the demographic tubes, with shrinking pools of young workers to support growing masses of seemingly immortal retirees.

But quickly, she veers into the emotional side of parenthood, and it’s here that I stand by her.

In our society, parents do a wonderful job of portraying the difficulties of having children: the financial burdens, the time drain, the guilt, the exhaustion. But we do a lousy job of getting across something else about parenthood: It’s fun! When you are experiencing parenthood from the inside, there is an overwhelming pleasure in the funny, fascinating things your children do.

I will take this a step further and say that the worst of times–tantrums, nightmares, soiled underwear–are no match for the tender moments–your child singing his bedtime songs with you, or zooming around the playground on his bicycle with an enormous smile on his face. Those moments melt even the worst stress and frustration. The cynic might call me selfish, but this only looks at one side of the coin. The other side is the discipline of being a parent–sacrificing all manner of things (though, in the end, so many sacrifices don’t really that way) for your children, your family.

As Yoffe points out, parents are changing the world, “saying yes” to the future, one child at a time. Raising children, good children, is the best action we can take to preserve what is important to us and, at the same time, change things for the better. As trite as it may be, kids are our future. Seems obvious, doesn’t it? But apparently not everyone gets it.

Posted on 5 July 2006