seb’s surgery last week went as smoothly as it could go.
the surgeon didn’t have to explore seb’s arm for his tendon, and he
had it sewn back together in about an hour and a half.
seb came out of anesthesia quickly and got home in time for his cousins, brother, grandma and pop-pop, mommy and daddy to sign his new bright orange cast before bed.
the cast was on until this past wednesday when we went back to children’s for a follow up
appointment. the cast was removed and we got our first look at
seb’s stitches. the surgeon said how nicely it had stitched up and
that once the stitches dissolved it would all smooth out. we had to
take his word for it. seb said he thought they looked pretty….
pretty gross.
they are eye catching. so now he’s in a splint, not
allowed to move his thumb at all for the next 10 days. after that,
PT, and, eesh, more trips to children’s. here’s to being busy! and
man, am i glad we homeschool!
Posted on April 21st, 2013
i’m sitting at children’s hospital in the surgical family waiting room. it’s relatively busy in here. who knows what these other parents have brought their kids in for. sebastien is here because he had yet another accident with his whittling knife, that sharp bugger! this time, he hit a tendon. so he’s in surgery. i just left him in the OR–TV shows make these rooms look way more interesting than they really are. the room where seb is right now, where they just put a mask on him, and he tumbled into a dreamless (i assume) sleep, is cold and white, unlike the brightly painted everything else in this place. i don’t like watching my boy fall to sleep that way, eyes glazed, body going limp. seb had a hernia repaired when he was 5, so this isn’t the first time i’ve been with him in that drug induced moment. i know for him it’s harmless, but i just don’t like it. it isn’t natural.
it is necessary though. and seb is glad to breathe in bubble gum smelling chemicals if it means he won’t feel any form of discomfort: no pokes, no prods, no needles, no anything. his biggest complaint was that he couldn’t eat anything since 8 o’clock last night…20 hours ago. he was feeling pretty crappy and decided he wanted to put it off just before they came in and told him it was his turn.
we had been waiting since about 1 o’clock this afternoon, and they finally fit him into the queue. children’s hospital has 13-14 operating rooms, and the surgeon said that they could use many many more. when you go to children’s hospital you are hit at once with how many kids there are with major problems, problems they were probably born with, problems that require much care. and you wonder how the parents can do it, all the doctor appointments, all the bills… so seb was fit into the queue, a space made for his poor little tendon in the midst of cleft pallets and who knows what else. it humbles me to think how minor our trouble is in the face of all this brokenness.
Posted on April 11th, 2013
today is april 3. today i have a niece who is now thirteen. a teenager. today the sun shone though the temps were in the upper 30s–it looked like spring, but it didn’t feel like it. today i went for a 3 mile run and wanted to run fast the whole time but had to hold myself back. my achilles still gives me some twinges, some pinches, some i’m-not-so-sure-you-should-be-pushing-me-this-hard reminders. today is april 3, 10 days until The Race. while the tone of my last post about running was hopeful, i am here to report that i will not be running the race in 10 days. it just isn’t prudent. it isn’t wise.
two weeks ago i began seeing an active release therapist. brian started seeing this guy about his knees and it really helped him. so i gave him a try. i guess i’m still giving him a try. the thought being that if i got this kind of therapy, i could still keep running and have a chance to still do The Race. this kind of therapy goes like this: while i move my appendages (the one with the injury more than likely) around, this guy digs his fist or his thumb into soft tissue (tendons, ligaments, muscles) to break up scar tissue that is formed in the fascia that encases said soft tissue. or maybe this explanation is more clear. so, in my case, hips and calf and achilles. painful? yes. in a bad way? no.
the first week i saw him, i was only running 2 miles at a time, always resting a day between. and he gave me exercises to do at home. (oh, the exercises. do i really have time for all this?) the second week, i was allowed to up my mileage as long as i wasn’t setting myself back. the achilles was giving me discomfort while i ran, but was recovering quickly and definitely by the next run. so i upped my mileage to 3 and then 3.75 miles. this mileage was fine, and in fact, i found that i could run no problem, but when i stopped running was when the achilles gave me the most pain. so, running good, walking bad? last week was the third week, and i was able to run 4 miles and then 6 miles on the weekend. running good! walking, not terrible, no limping. but the next day after that 6 mile run, i was in some pain again. though it recovered fine in a day or two, and i knew this was coming, i really needed to make the decision not to run The Race, the 30k brian and i had so whimsically signed ourselves up for in december. (if we had only known!) 6 miles is one thing, and i’ll do it again this week… but 18 miles? that’ll break me. it’s time to face the music, bite the bullet, whatever other cliche you can think of slipping in here….
so no 30k for me. maybe if i were younger and dumber i would push myself to do it. but i’m almost 40 now (7 mos to go people), and if i want to keep being active and manage any kind of running career in the future, i need to play it safe. i have learned something in this process too. that i am a runner (my friend april told me this just yesterday, and my friend shannon has said it to me a million times), that i love running even though it is super hard, and that there is such a thing as too much too soon, even when you think you are playing things safe. so what will i do differently in the future? a) not act like so much of a runner that i don’t take enough rest days: running 4 days a week is probably more than enough, and b) take it slow: i have many years ahead of me to work up my mileage… i need to give myself more than 3 months to morph into “trail runner jen,” though i know she exists somewhere deep down inside me. let’s do some shorter distances first.
Posted on April 3rd, 2013
this is a collect we pray before bed nightly:
Keep watch, dear Lord, for those who work or watch or weep this night, and give angels charge over those who sleep; tend the sick, Lord Christ, give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, and shield the joyous, and all for your loves’ sake. Amen.
tonight is no different, but i did ask a question: what do you think “shield the joyous” means?
i wonder about this phrase every time i say the prayer (it seems pretty self explanatory i know, but still), and so i wanted to see if the kids do too.
oren said, “shield the joyful people so they don’t get sad.”
seb said, “protect the people who are partying so they can party in peace and not be disturbed by some mean dude.”
my almost ten-year-old seemed to have a bill and ted’s excellent adventure moment. party on, dudes?
Posted on March 21st, 2013
black bean brownies
1 can rinsed black beans, pureed
3 eggs
1/3 c. oil
1/3 to 1/2 c. honey or sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1/4 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
i mix all the ingredients with a wand blender. put batter in greased 8×8 pan. bake at 350 for about 40 mins.
Posted on March 2nd, 2013
it’s march 2nd and the weather seems like more like february. i don’t like february. it’s dark and dismal. also, running is really challenging–getting out of bed to run in the teens and pelting snow on slippery sidewalks. while in some respects it makes me feel hardcore to do this, it’s not…. fun. and now that i have written that, i need to tell myself, like i tell my kids on at least a weekly basis, life isn’t always about fun, probably shouldn’t always be about fun. it’s the hard unfun stuff that makes us grow and strengthens our character.
(i wonder though, does running in miserable conditions actually build character?)
so this morning it is in the low 20s, windy (the one thing i will remember about winter 2013) and snowy. but guess what. i’m not running in this today. brian is, and i’m glad. he has been battling knee pain in our quest to train for a 30k, and i’ve been waiting for him to have a breakthrough. maybe today is the day. i’m not running because a) i hurt my achilles last week and am giving it a good rest, and b) i’m sick. i’m kind of glad these two things happened at once. maybe that means the last 5 weeks i have to train will be awesome.
but after establishing a habit of running 5 days a week and being super disciplined about it for 4 weeks (74 miles and more than 14 hours of running later), i’m struggling this week with the inactivity. i’m sad and lethargic and unmotivated to do other workouts. i haven’t been getting up in the morning because nothing but running gets me out of bed early. while i know this is a good rest for me to have, and at a good time too since it’s about halfway to the race, i’m just sad. i can’t wait to get back into it, and i hope that i can.
the question is, what is this achilles tendon going to do? is it just tired and strained because of all the hills i have been running, or did i injure it last week when i fell down the steps (another story, another time) last friday? if it’s just tiredness, i’m pretty sure rest will do it good, and i’ll be able to jump back into running soon. if it’s an injury though…. it might take an even longer rest, and i might not be able to just jump right back in. i may not be able to run a 30k in april.
now i know how brian has been feeling these past few weeks. and i also know this… i really do love running. to be totally cliché, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. good to know. this has been my goal, to fall in love with running.
in an effort to embrace the rest time that i have and to get rid of this cold, today i woke up at 9 or so. i didn’t shower. i didn’t put on running clothes. i bundled up in a sweatshirt and my favorite green scarf, and me and my runny nose went downstairs to eat brownies for breakfast. character building? well….. fun? absolutely. and yummy. i’m feeling better already.
(wait! before you judge my decision, go look at the brownie recipe in the next post!)
Posted on March 2nd, 2013
it was weird. the friday we left for florida, i ran for over an hour in 20 degree weather, all bundled up (cause i hate getting cold). then we get to florida and it’s in the low 80s.
while we were there, brian and i partook of a long trail run at a regional park in fort myers located on/near/along the caloosahatchee (sp?). this park has the only good mountain biking trails in the region…. because there are hills. wait a minute, hills? in florida? well…. they were manufactured, and they were hills, but they weren’t hill hills, like the hills around here. so while it was in the upper 70s and 80s while we were running in florida, which is really too hot for running in my book, at least it was flat? i don’t know, i can’t really tell which is harder, hills in 20 degrees or flat land in 80 degrees. it’s a toss up probably. there are issues to deal with in the heat like hot spots on the toes and brush burns in the armpits that i didn’t anticipate and did not enjoy at all, but it was good to get a 14 mile run in on tame landscape.
and it was really great to impress all the retirees we were surrounded by in the community where brian’s dad lives. i went out for short runs around the house, and the people i passed who were walking would wave and smile with a look on their faces like, look at her go! so, a nice perk up for the ego. which i need now that we’re home, and i have to tackle actual hills again. in the freezing cold.
Posted on February 19th, 2013
here it is, our annual florida trip. we are so thankful that brian’s dad has a place down where it’s warm. especially this year since it was just about 20 degrees when we left pittsburgh.
the downside of our trips to florida in my mind is that for the week, we turn into total tourists. in the past it has been disney where everyone is a tourist so it’s okay. yesterday we headed to lake trafford and AIRBOATS & ALLIGATORS. the red and yellow comic book words jumped out at us. they were impossible to ignore, so we went.
the shop where we paid was a shack where they sold various sundry fishing accoutrements and snacks and also seemed to be a storage area for junk and bags of clothes. the man taking care of the cash register was obese with a full head and chin of white hair. behind him was a picture of himself in a santa clause suit. there were a dozen different kinds of snakes housed in tanks, including rachel, the largest snake in the whole world, a python from who-knows-where. 32 feet long. they also had a bunch of tropical birds, some of which talked, yelling “hello” at passers-by. or just yelling at everyone. the boys finally walked away from them after being squawked to deaf…ness. oh, and a tank of baby alligators, which they let the kids hold onto if they so desired. out of five boys i think only one did…. the tiny reptiles were pretty desperate to escape. not like letting a little relaxed salamander run laps on your hands–those gators were fast!
we waited out back, wandering around the pier, looking at the reptiles, trying to stay out of the sun because it was hot! finally it was time for our tour of trafford lake. we boarded our airboat–a flat boat that has a huge fan propeller on the back. the guy driving was a heavy set man with a cigarette and a thick southern drawl and didn’t look anything like santa. as we sat down in our seats, we had the option of putting on big cherry red ear protectors. once the engine got going, we were pretty happy to have them on.
there was something very surreal about the drone of the boat propeller through the barricade of the earphones. if i turned to the side a bit, away from brian who was sitting next to me, i could pretend that i was completely alone on this adventure. it was thrilling to move over the water of the lake so fast, the wind on my face, eyes closed. but after a while, i started to feel a little less exhilarated.
the lake was huge, surrounded by marshes of tall cattails and other shorter grasses which grew right out of the water. the marshes were dotted by cypress trees, held above the water by their roots that twirl around each other to make the trunk of the tree. we saw all sorts of wildlife–alligators, of course, sunning themselves in what they may have thought of as a secluded peaceful muddy slough until we arrived. cranes, ibises, silvertail hawks, purple gallinules, moorhens and coots, egrets. snakes and butterflies. brian managed to snap some lucky pictures of a few of the creatures as they retreated away from the huge billowing boat we announced our arrival in.
in spots we drove right through the cattails, through water trails that were there before us, probably made by the comings and goings of these boats carrying us tourist-types to get a glimpse of a gator. i eventually felt like an intruder. like nothing could stop us from blowing into these habitats in such a flurry of noise and exhaust. but when aren’t we intruders, and when don’t wild animals run away from us? we know something is wrong when they stick around. i’d like to take a canoe, something quieter, and go in those back alley waterways and sit tight to watch nature unfold around me. maybe another time we’ll do something like that. but for now, we take what we can get.
and when we returned to the house where we’re staying, guess what we saw just out back? … an alligator, no airboat required. i got a picture of it, and i have to say that without the protection of the noisy boat surrounding me, i felt a greater respect and fear of that five plus foot long animal and what it could do to me. time for me to retreat.
Posted on February 8th, 2013
it is currently 15.6 degrees fahrenheit in pittsburgh tonight. this morning was about the same, maybe colder since they delayed schools yet again. i didn’t mind the school delay. it meant that my run this morning was seen by a few less people than normal. and that’s good, when i know the only thing people thought when they saw me was, she’s crazy! well, yeah, i guess i’m a little crazy, running when temps are in the single digits, possibly below 0 with windchill.
and speaking of people who judge me for running, the other day a man coming out of his house when i ran by actually guffawed at me. “oh, this is just nuts!” he guffawed at me. and i said, “well thanks for your encouragement.” and it was 34 degrees that day! so i dedicate my supposed craziness to him.
frankly, i’m trying to be crazy. crazy about running. a friend of mine who is a long-time runner put together a training plan for me to do the glacier ridge trail race. and by do, i mean just finish it without having to be med-evac’d out of there… oh, and before the 5 1/2 hour cut off time. this training plan has me running 5 days a week. and today was one of them. and so was yesterday.
i started this plan about a week and a half ago, and i figured that to cop-out now just because of some nippy temps would not help my prospects. when i asked said friend her opinion of whether i should stay inside in my nice cozy bed instead, she said that i’d have to double up on some other running day and that running in the cold feels great. so run i did. and it. was. cold… but it didn’t stay cold for very long (well, it kind of felt long at the time), and i managed to get pretty sweaty. sweaty! and i was definitely happier than all the poor people waiting for buses. but even more amazing than sweating when it’s 5 degrees? i saw two other runners out there in the freezing hell too.
two! at least i’m not the only crazy one.
Posted on January 23rd, 2013
brian and i just recently signed up to run a 30k trail race. april 13, moraine state park. a 30k!!! that’s 18 miles people. oh man, i’m going to die. i wrote about running in a post from 2010, i think it was called “year of 13” or something. i waxed eloquent (har!) about climbing a 5.13 and running a half marathon. i talked about how hard running 13 miles was…. and now i have signed up for even more pain and torture! 5 more miles of it!
first off, it would be wise for me to stop thinking of running as torture, and instead think of it as… a party!? i need to embrace the fact that for at least these next 4 months, i need to act like a runner, be disciplined like a runner: i am going to have to run. a lot. i may have to stop acting like the rock climber i am, stop trying to get out of running to do climbing related activities. i will have to reverse my natural mindset and go for a run instead of climb.
i bought new running shoes. that was the fun part. the not fun part is realizing that i may never find the perfect pair of running shoes. and by perfect i mean the kind that make it feel like my feet never touch the ground, the kind that don’t allow my legs to tire and keep my lungs full of oxygen. nope, the shoes i have tried have all left me feeling like i have a long way to go to run 30 kilometers, to be on my feet running and walking for like 4 hours (knowing me, possibly more).
some advice i have received from some runner guy online is that i need to start running often enough to make running begin to feel like second nature. running has always felt really grueling and completely opposite of what i have been created to do, so i am kind of dubious that i can get there. but i’m going to try. going to try to fall in love with it if i can, or at least force myself at it a whole bunch of times and hope we can still look at each other in the morning.
i have 4 months. time to run!
Posted on January 9th, 2013