letting go

both seb and i are having letting go issues of late. seb just won’t let go and embrace walking as a new and interesting (and not scary when he falls) part of life. he also is having trouble letting go of his compulsion to play in the kitchen trash. he has a “route” that he takes with his walker that circles the living room then goes through the dining room and into the kitchen. and it always ends up at the kitchen trash, which is cleverly stowed away in a cupboard that pulls out. and he LOVES pulling the large drawer out. technically he is not yet playing with the trash itself, but brian and i know it’s just a matter of time before it leads to that, so we’re trying to nip it in the bud now. and you are probably thinking as you read this, “why don’t they just get some sort of latchy-, baby proofy-thingy?”


my issue with the whole “letting go” thing is different. at 14 months old, seb is on his way to being weaned. i only nurse him twice a day now (once when he wakes up and once before he goes to sleep at night), and i’m finding myself being very happy and a little sad all at once. yesterday, i celebrated by packing away all of my nursing bras (i’m so sure i’m talking about my underwear here! if you’re offended or embarassed, sorry!) and getting out the normal ones. and it felt so GOOD to be back to normal! but then i get all misty thinking that seb is growing up and away from me. *sigh* and isn’t this the way motherhood is… a constant battle between the wonder and excitement of watching him grow up (an me gaining more and more personal freedom back!) and the pain of having to let him go. yeesh, and he isn’t even a teenager yet! guess i better get used to it.

seb has entered a new affectionate phase of life, which is making this weaning thing less of an issue, where he hugs and kisses and cuddles everything–not only mommy and daddy, but also his little people garage and his stuffed cows. especially his stuffed cows! oh how he loves them! every morning when he wakes up (i think) he grabs the cows one at a time and lavishes kisses (slowly leaning in his head and making contact in the area of his closed, unpuckered lips) on their little noses. i hope this is a permanent part of his personality now because it’s soooo sweet.