(or, Anybody Wanna Buy a Bike?)

Yes, Tuesday night. I relegated myself to the C race after three consecutive weeks of broken parts and wrecks. I needed to actually finish a race, and I figured this would be a good start. In the back of my mind, I thought I might be able to turn a decent result, too (hah!).

While the women and children (ahem, juniors) were racing, it started to rain. Not hard, just a nice drizzle–enough to soak the track, but not enough to clean the grit off of it. Adding to the fun, it was a full field–35 riders. Uh oh. Suddenly, sitting in on Wednesday nights didn’t sound so bad. We started with five neutral laps, which would be last five laps there was anything resembling a pace line. I kinda liked the neutral laps, as it was like a free warm-up. Once the bell started the race, someone went off the front immediately. Fortunately, the group was sensible and just waited a lap for the rider to fall back into the group. ProGraphics had twenty people in the race, I think, and they spent much time at the front, alternately driving the pace and sitting up.

(I’ll stop here to note that I actually used my brakes less tonight than I have the B races. That said, perhaps I was paying better attention.)

The pace would often be high out of turn two through turn four, then it slow up. Sometimes it would be fast coming over the start/finish line, then die out in the back stretch. This didn’t bother me much. What did puzzle me, however, was the fact that the group was often riding in the right gutter. I suspect this was a matter of someone pulling off and no one else wanting to give up the wheel. Of course, a small group of us would move up on the left, only to have the group dive down from the corners. Pace lines were very rare, and the group was often spread across the track, making moving up a dicey proposition. I was certainly feeling a bit gun shy after last week’s wreck, especially given the usual bouts of wobbliness from the field. I figured since I felt pretty decent, I would try to move up in the waning laps and have a go at a good result. I finally managed to get a good position heading into the final lap, but this was stymied when the rider in front of me sat up in the back straight and the entire race passed us by. I puttered across the line with the remains of the group.

To say I am currently lacking motivation would be an understatement. I’m lacking that “killer instinct” to move up during the race. Much of it seems to be a lack of confidence in my legs–I have no trouble sitting in, but I’ve managed to convince myself that I don’t have it at the moment to make any sort of move at the front. Last week, I threatened a racing sabbatical, and may still follow through with that. It seems odd to lose motivation so early in the year, but I just can’t bring myself to be excited about it right now. Some might claim that this is just sour grapes on my part for poor results this year, but given that I’ve found myself looking for excuses not to race, it seems to have more to do with motivation than anything else.

Posted on 5 May 2009