P course tonight. I was considering not going down, a decision that would come back to haunt me. I’ve felt fairly tired all week, and tonight was no different. It didn’t help that I started at the back of the group, immediately putting myself in a hole. Within a few laps, a gap had formed, and a few laps later, another gap formed. I sat in with a small group for about 10 laps, then we were lapped. I grabbed on to the back of the main group, suffered through a few more laps, then another gap formed a few riders up, and I couldn’t chase it down. So…I puttered to the infield, grabbed my stuff, and rode home.

So, perhaps I should have stayed home. I’ve definitely lacked motivation recently. I can’t say I don’t want to get on the bike, because that’s not the case, but at this point, I feel like I need a break from trying so hard. Aside from perhaps Strongland, road racing season, outside of the Oval, is through. I’ll likely be more selective about when I race at the Oval–if I’m not into it, I’m staying home. Am I disappointed? Hardly. In fact, it feels good to make peace with my lack of motivation.

There is, however, much riding to be done. Though we won’t be around for it, I’m helping organize a populaire during BikeFest, which will probably mean a pre-ride of the course before we leave for Colorado. I am dragging the bike to Colorado, too, in hopes of doing a bit of pass hunting. And, of course, there’s the Dirty Dozen later in the fall, something that swept under the carpet by a cyclocross race.

Posted on 15 July 2009